As someone who went on to study to become a therapist, I still resonate deeply. Fixing other people as a way to foster intimacy never works out, you put it perfectly into words
Exactly me..I feel so guilty about feeling this way. Just to handle someone else's sadness I've even ruined my exams....I feel so numb nowadays but after reading this article I really feel seen for once...
I wanted to be a therapist all my life literally because I wanted to help folks not go through what I did and/or felt. The way being a therapist is depicted here seems unhealthy. The relationship between therapist and client isn’t about being needed and then cast aside as they grow. To me, it’s more about walking beside folks as they learn and grow into who they want to be.
I remember saying to a friend that I felt like I was regulating for the both of us and I couldn’t do it anymore, we weren’t friends after that and this has helped me understand why.
This is beautiful. Times where I was listening to other people’s problems and fixing them but later on couldn’t fix my own or ask that same person for help, felt like a punch in the gut. You explained it perfectly.
you have such an incredible way with words, some quotes that stuck out to me amongst many others: "empathy doesn't require self abandonment" "you set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm" "is it really a compliment to be called mature while wiping away someone else’s tears, or is it just a subtle form of permission to neglect ourselves?" you are truly so gifted and from one recovering therapist friend to another, i feel so seen to my very core by this piece, thank you for writing this 💜
This is so real, I recently left behind a “friend” because I was exhausted of helping her out with her relationship issues, she wouldn’t listen to me and I felt horrible, I was feeling alone by her attitude so I just ended it. Then I realized I wasn’t the problem, however, I felt guilty for taking care of myself. Great description of how it is to be the therapist friend 🫶🏼
As someone who went on to study to become a therapist, I still resonate deeply. Fixing other people as a way to foster intimacy never works out, you put it perfectly into words
Exactly me..I feel so guilty about feeling this way. Just to handle someone else's sadness I've even ruined my exams....I feel so numb nowadays but after reading this article I really feel seen for once...
Eldest daughter core
I wanted to be a therapist all my life literally because I wanted to help folks not go through what I did and/or felt. The way being a therapist is depicted here seems unhealthy. The relationship between therapist and client isn’t about being needed and then cast aside as they grow. To me, it’s more about walking beside folks as they learn and grow into who they want to be.
I remember saying to a friend that I felt like I was regulating for the both of us and I couldn’t do it anymore, we weren’t friends after that and this has helped me understand why.
This feels like me... But I didn't have the words to put out why I'd want to quit being a therapist friend. I love how you put this together !!
Called in times of crisis but not in times on consideration... So well said! 👏
This doesn’t 100% apply to really close friends and family you love
This is beautiful. Times where I was listening to other people’s problems and fixing them but later on couldn’t fix my own or ask that same person for help, felt like a punch in the gut. You explained it perfectly.
you have such an incredible way with words, some quotes that stuck out to me amongst many others: "empathy doesn't require self abandonment" "you set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm" "is it really a compliment to be called mature while wiping away someone else’s tears, or is it just a subtle form of permission to neglect ourselves?" you are truly so gifted and from one recovering therapist friend to another, i feel so seen to my very core by this piece, thank you for writing this 💜
This is so real, I recently left behind a “friend” because I was exhausted of helping her out with her relationship issues, she wouldn’t listen to me and I felt horrible, I was feeling alone by her attitude so I just ended it. Then I realized I wasn’t the problem, however, I felt guilty for taking care of myself. Great description of how it is to be the therapist friend 🫶🏼
“I began to realize that being needed wasn’t the same thing as being loved” oh my god .
this going to haunt me for a lifetime
This is such a validating read
It’s extremely difficult being a therapist. Don’t be one, especially if you’re not equipped for it.
this spoke to my heart